So, England, nominally the home of football, is out of the European Cup, having lost to Iceland. Iceland is a country with a population of 330,000 hardy Vikings, whose national sport is handball. England’s population is over 53 million. And we invented soccer.

Iceland’s only football pitch is under snow for much of the year, and their part-time manager is a full-time dentist.

I think perhaps England should refocus their sporting efforts on something a little less challenging. Like table football. With a Raspberry Pi on hand, you can even make it feel stadium-like, with automatic goal detection, slow-motion instant replay, score-keeping, tallying for a league of competitors and more. Come on, nation. I feel that we could do quite well with this; and given that it cuts the size of the team down to two people, it’d keep player salaries at a minimum.

This build comes from Stefan Wehner, who has documented it meticulously on GitHub. You’ll find full build instructions and a parts list (which starts with a football table), along with all the code you’ll need.

Well done Iceland, by the way. We’re not bitter or anything.